How to Work with Difficult People: 8 Effective Strategies
You'll encounter people with different personalities and work styles in the workplace. Some may be pleasant to work with, others not so much. One of the crucial skills that leaders must learn is how to work with difficult people.
Whether it’s a demanding boss or board member, a colleague with conflicting opinions, or a grumpy client, dealing with difficult people at work is essential for maintaining a healthy work environment and reaching your goals. In this article, we will explore effective strategies to navigate challenging situations and collaborate harmoniously with difficult people, drawing insights from some of the best executive leadership programs in the world.
Develop effective communication strategies.
Learning to communicate with a difficult person is critical for navigating tense interactions and fostering better understanding and collaboration.
Active listening is a powerful strategy that involves genuine listening and understanding different perspectives. It goes beyond just hearing their words and requires fully engaging with them and reflecting on their message. It minimizes misunderstandings by showing that you value their input and are willing to find common ground.
The key to influencing people is learning what they want and understanding why they feel that way. One strategy, often practiced in leadership seminars, is to repeat their message back to them to confirm that you understand where they're coming from. A good way to phrase this is to say, “What I’m hearing is X (share what you understand so far). Is there more?”
Listen without making assumptions or interrupting them while they speak. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to open up instead of sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying, "Why did you do that?" try asking, "How did that happen?"
Also, look for hidden needs. Ask yourself, “What is this person really trying to gain or avoid?” Knowing what’s important to them will help you frame an effective solution that allows both of you to move forward. A win-win is possible when you look at a difficult situation from multiple angles.
Remember, difficult people may seem unreasonable, but some simply struggle to communicate effectively. You can reduce conflicts and establish an empathetic environment by steering the conversation with active listening and thoughtful questions.
Manage your emotional responses.
Difficult people can be emotionally draining. Managing your emotional responses is part of learning how to deal with difficult people at work, important skills for managing and leading in business.
When it’s difficult to work with someone, it’s easy to become emotionally charged. Maintaining your composure will allow you to think more rationally and avoid responding impulsively.
Don’t just hope you’ll stay calm. Prepare yourself beforehand through relaxation techniques, deep breathing exercises, and meditation. Calming physical activities like walking can also help lower stress.
If a conversation becomes heated, suggest taking a break and reconvening later. You can say, "It seems like we've hit a nerve here. I intend to find a resolution that we can both feel good about. How about we take a break and return to this at 1 p.m.?” Taking a step back allows everyone to cool down and return to the discussion with a fresh perspective.
Never respond with personal attacks or defensive behavior. Focus on the issue and address it objectively and professionally. Focusing on finding a solution can prevent things from getting out of hand and maintain a productive working relationship.
Don’t Judge Prematurely
When you handle a difficult situation at work, never jump to conclusions or judge others prematurely. It’s easy to assume that you have the full picture, especially when you’re under a lot of stress. However, there may be missing pieces of information that affect the matter at hand.
Keep an open mind and be aware of the layered realities that may contribute to their reactions and behaviors. Besides, you can never fully know what others are going through. So, always adopt an empathetic mindset when dealing with difficult people.
Implement an Empathetic Leadership Style
An empathetic leadership style shows that you value people’s feelings and ideas. It prevents frustration and defensiveness, especially among difficult people.
People tend to become more agreeable when they feel heard and valued. Through active listening and asking open-ended questions, communication becomes clearer and more direct. They also help you learn the underlying reasons behind people’s difficult behavior and resolve issues more easily.
Always remember, difficult people are humans too. Just like you, they face different stressors, pressures, and responsibilities. You can establish an environment where everyone can thrive by being the type of leader or colleague you wish to have in challenging situations.
Set Boundaries and Stand Up for Yourself
While being an empathetic leader is important, you should also know how to set boundaries and communicate your needs. Don’t tolerate disrespectful or abusive behavior.
Calmly assert your needs and express your feelings. You can say, “I’m happy to work alongside you, but I feel disrespected when you speak to me in that tone. Let’s find a better way to communicate.”
This sends a clear message that you’re not tolerating mistreatment. It also sets the stage for a more pleasant and productive collaboration. If the person continues to disregard your boundaries, consider escalating the issue to an HR representative.
Focus on What You Can Control
There will always be things beyond your control, but focus your energy on those you can. You can’t control other people’s behaviors and attitudes, but you can control your responses and actions.
Don’t get caught up in office drama and negativity. This will only lower your productivity and increase your stress levels.
For example, if a difficult colleague fails to respond to your emails and messages, ask for help from someone more willing. The key is to find ways to work around difficult people and seek alternative solutions.
Seek Support and Consultation
Working with difficult people is challenging, and sometimes you need additional support and guidance. It won’t hurt to seek advice from trusted colleagues or mentors who may have firsthand experience with similar challenges. They may provide valuable insights and strategies on how to navigate difficult situations.
You can also consult with an advisor specializing in helping leaders manage difficult people in the workplace. These experts can provide personalized guidance on how to effectively communicate and collaborate with difficult people, incorporating principles of master management leadership to enhance your leadership skills.
Give Yourself Credit, and Reflect on Your Learning
Give yourself credit for overcoming an uncomfortable situation, and reflect on your learnings from that encounter, much like what is encouraged in CEO development programs.
You often forget to take a moment to reflect on the insights you gained or the skills you practiced in that situation. Taking time to acknowledge your own growth or areas for improvement allows you to use every setback as a learning opportunity. So, express gratitude to yourself for the times you stepped outside of your comfort zone or upheld your values, though it was difficult.
Final Thoughts
It’s impossible to avoid difficult people in the workplace. However, you can learn how to handle difficult people more effectively.
With the strategies in this article, you can navigate challenging relationships with greater confidence and achieve positive outcomes. If you need personalized advice on dealing with difficult people, let’s connect and set up a consultation. We’d love to be in your corner.
You cannot avoid difficult people, but you can learn how to be more effective, despite them. You may find that a confidential advisor with whom to discuss strategies for these challenges is a welcomed resource.
Let's connect and set up a consultation. We'd love to be in your corner.
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